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The Talking Rock
I went out for a walk, and I ran across a talking rock!?!
A talking rock? Well I was in shock!
Who ever would have thought that a rock could talk?
But there it was, as happy as could be,
Sittin' in the shade of that hickory tree.
I looked all around but I couldn't see,
Anyone there except for me.
"Hickory tree, hickory tree,
who could it be that is speaking to me?"
"Well it's that rock there on the ground,
now he'll talk the ear off those that come around,
'cuz he's not content unless he's makin' some sound,
it's the talkin'est rock I've ever found."
"A talking rock? There's no way!
What in the heck would a rock have to say?
I've got to go, I don't have all day,
What time is it now, anyway?"
"By my standards," said the rock,
"I'd swear it's about a million o'clock."
A million o'clock? A talking rock?
That had to be the most absurd,
The most absurd thing I'd ever heard.
"Why don't you leave me alone?
You're nothing but a stupid stone."
"Well, you can call me a stupid stone,
or, you can call me on my phone.
I've got a phone, yes, it's true!
what's your number? I'll call you."
Well, I don't give my number out
To every rock I meet,
But I'd surely deem a call from a rock
A truly stony feat.
My number is one, four-two-zero,
four-two-zero-four-two,
and if you really do call me later,
then I'll believe what you say is true."
Now later that day when I got home,
(at twenty past four oclock),
I got a call on my phone
From that supposed talking rock.
"Oh, good, I'm glad you called,
can you please stay on the line?
I would like to introduce you to
a very good friend of mine."
So I took my phone and ran outside
Over to Sparky's house,
I sneaked on in with that phone
As quiet as a mouse.
Up the stairs and down the hall
Into his room and then,
I caught Sparky on the phone,
Red-handed and guilty as sin.
You see, Sparky loves his devious pranks,
And he tried this one on me,
But I knew right from the start,
That it was he up in that tree.
Throwing his voice and thinkin' I'd fall,
For somethin' like a talking rock,
You shoulda seen when I tossed him the phone
His face turned white with shock!
A talking rock? What a crock!
MEANWHILE, BACK UNDER THE HICKORY TREE
WHEN NO ONE IS THERE - NOT EVEN ME...
"Sometimes I think I'd rather
listen to endless vapid blather,
or spend my days all alone,
than to be called a stupid stone...
Hmmph!"
"I agree," said the hickory tree,
"Now, where were we?"
"Ah, yes...
according to Einsteins theory
of general relativity,
nothing is as it seems to be."
Yesterdaze
